Friendship

I got a call this afternoon from a friend in distress over a "friend" of his. He was telling me that they are in the middle of a fight. He is feeling bad about hurtful things they said to one another. And, his "friend" has supposedly written him off as he calls it. He's driving himself crazy trying to figure out what to do, how to make peace. Finding the right words to say to this person to make him realize they should stop wasting precious time and get past it all.
He went on to tell me how this "friend" has been bad mouthing him to mutual friends, and bringing up things thought to be resolved from the past.
He wanted my advice as how to handle it.
Well I wrote a blog a while back somewhere else and I thought it was a good time to resurrect it.
Reading it once again reminded me of a few things myself . I'll share it here....
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Friends?

What an interesting word "friend" is.
We use the word too lightly. We very often use the word incorrectly.
Someone does not become a friend because you hang out with them a few times. Or even several times. Thats a buddy. Life will teach you this harsh lesson. Quickly! I could go on.... but what I'd rather do is speak of what makes a true friend.
A friend is a person who u feel a connection to. You can sometimes finish each others sentences. You and this person share your entire lives. Just about every aspect. You don't cultivate a friend through monetary entanglements. A friend is there in the good times and the bad. A friend is someone you can depend on emotionally. When a true friend enters your life it enriches it and makes it flourish. A friend in its truest form is a gift to be treasured and held close to your heart.
Why the need to explore this subject matter at this time you may ask?
Simple.
I have recently opened my heart up to a few wonderful people who have fired a spark in me. I am inspired by the sincerity and calm these select people have brought into my world.
I remember watching an episode of Oprah (LOL) where her guest was promoting a book about learning when&how to let go. Learning how to determine when to say when. Knowing when there is a time for some personal inventory in ones life. Learning how to close the door to certain chapters in your life that are damaging and/or disruptive to your progress. After all, we are all a work in progress. Although doing so may not be popular to the people that fall into that category. Its essential to move forward thus giving us the opportunity to grow.
Well I have done such inventory, and it is the most freeing and liberating thing I have ever done in my life. This may seem to be a very self serving activity. And it is. Thats part of the lesson learned. Sometimes it's ok to be self serving and think about number one.
It's like an addict never having to use what ever his choice of poisin is to assuage what ever ails him again.
I am free.
I am Me.